Experiences So Far

Man: "Hi. Can I have more meat on my sandwich? You know... like a special order!"
Me: "Yes of course! However, we have no cut meat at the moment so if you'd wait---
Man: "No that's okay."

I have to do what the diners ask but can I help it if I enjoy finding the loopholes?
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Man: "Did you fix the food?"
Me: "No. I'm not a cook."
Man: "Oh, well then how do I know the food has been made properly?"
Me: "The cooks follow specific guidelines."
Man: "But how do I know that someone hasn't spit in my food?"
Me: "......"
Man: "How do I know that you haven't spit in my food?"
Me: "Well, I can have the cooks make you a sandwich while you stand here and watch if it will put your mind at ease."
Man: "No. That's okay."

The guy takes a sandwich and leaves. I wish I had spit in the sandwiches.
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Girl: "These are chicken enchiladas right?"
I look at the sign pointedly.
My head: "No. They're seagull. It's cheaper than chicken and it's much more fresh. However catching it is a pain."
My mouth: "Yes."