On Wednesday I went to see New Moon with Terri which was much better than I expected but still the comedy I was hoping for. The awkward pauses after every word made me laugh and sometimes comment had to be made. I am sorry Terri if I ruined the movie for you. Speaking of you, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the coffee mug!!!!! I didn't realize there was chocolate in it until I went got home and was showing my mum. It made my day all over again.
After the movie I invited myself over to the Caldiera-Perry household as a I typically do. Plus Alex put the idea in my head. And guess what. I got my first slurpee in two months!! Walking into 711 made my day for the third time. I was finally home. And then the blue raspberry slurpee machine was on the fritz and produced blue sugary foam. It was disgusting, so I got an eight ounce cherry slurpee which wasn't nearly as good.
And last but not least (and slightly out of order) I parked in Gail's spot. I know people are tired of hearing that I parked in the parking spot reserved for Gail only, even if she's not in the same country but I'm proud of my daring. So far Gail hasn't hunted me down and tried to strangle me with Ariel appropriate shirts.
Friday.
I slept in for the first time in two months and then I ate toast for the first time in two months. AND IT WAS RAINING!!!!! I then left to mail a package for my mother, buy Aslan (yes the lion of Narnia, played by Terri) and invite myself over to the Caldiera-Perrys' again. We played monopoly (Alex and Thomas are cheaters) and I once again proved that no matter what I always go to jail on the first turn. I think I'm cursed. Or it's a conspiracy. Then we played apples to apples and I was served yummy eggs.
I also learned that my absence from Ariel has led to corruption. Without me Ethan, Corbyjane, and Alex are able to corrupt the minds of children and Nat. It is appalling. Although I will admit it is pretty ingenious.
After I helped eat the remainder of the Caldiera-Perry eggs (sorry about the pumpkin pie) we watched Anastasia on of my all time favourite movies. Let's just be honest for a moment and realize that Anastasia was not shot along with her sisters and brother and burned in vats of acid. No. She was reunited with her Grandmere in Paris and then ran off with the cute guy from the kitchens, Demetri.
After that we played ghost tag, or hide-n-seek in the dark house. I failed miserably at finding people but was well hidden until Alex impaled me with a foam sword and then tried to grab behind the bed into my hiding place. Not cool Alex. I also accidentally hit the cat and one of the dogs.... Ethan scare the bejeebers out of Corbyjane and I laughed. I have never seen a girl freak out so much over a mask and a knife. But then what do I expect from a soprano? [/love]
Corbyjane soon went home, she said she had to house sit a zoo but I'm sure she was just afraid that Ethan would come after her again. Which left me in charge. During the time that I was left in charge and Lori came home. I beat Ethan up (for old time's sake) and almost died when Ethan stole my shoe and I fell to the ground because Nat was unable to support my weight. I then proceeded to threaten Alex and Ethan until my shoe was returned. I then watched a video titled '10 Ways to Kill Ethan' on youtube. It's given me some good ideas.
Saturday will come when my brain is awake enough to process my amazingness (not) at Mad Gab, the yummy fondue, and my nearly getting jumped at New Moon.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Experiences So Far
Man: "Hi. Can I have more meat on my sandwich? You know... like a special order!"
Me: "Yes of course! However, we have no cut meat at the moment so if you'd wait---
Man: "No that's okay."
I have to do what the diners ask but can I help it if I enjoy finding the loopholes?
-------
Man: "Did you fix the food?"
Me: "No. I'm not a cook."
Man: "Oh, well then how do I know the food has been made properly?"
Me: "The cooks follow specific guidelines."
Man: "But how do I know that someone hasn't spit in my food?"
Me: "......"
Man: "How do I know that you haven't spit in my food?"
Me: "Well, I can have the cooks make you a sandwich while you stand here and watch if it will put your mind at ease."
Man: "No. That's okay."
The guy takes a sandwich and leaves. I wish I had spit in the sandwiches.
-------
Girl: "These are chicken enchiladas right?"
I look at the sign pointedly.
My head: "No. They're seagull. It's cheaper than chicken and it's much more fresh. However catching it is a pain."
My mouth: "Yes."
Me: "Yes of course! However, we have no cut meat at the moment so if you'd wait---
Man: "No that's okay."
I have to do what the diners ask but can I help it if I enjoy finding the loopholes?
-------
Man: "Did you fix the food?"
Me: "No. I'm not a cook."
Man: "Oh, well then how do I know the food has been made properly?"
Me: "The cooks follow specific guidelines."
Man: "But how do I know that someone hasn't spit in my food?"
Me: "......"
Man: "How do I know that you haven't spit in my food?"
Me: "Well, I can have the cooks make you a sandwich while you stand here and watch if it will put your mind at ease."
Man: "No. That's okay."
The guy takes a sandwich and leaves. I wish I had spit in the sandwiches.
-------
Girl: "These are chicken enchiladas right?"
I look at the sign pointedly.
My head: "No. They're seagull. It's cheaper than chicken and it's much more fresh. However catching it is a pain."
My mouth: "Yes."
They're Trying to Steal My Sanity
People often ask me why the employees of Carrillo don't look happier. Usually I just shrug and blow the question off. After all everyone's different but now I have a solid answer backed by evidence.
It is because the management stole hour music. Most people who eat at Carrillo understand that we are not DLG, Carrillo employees do not like the silence. The music that's always blaring from the dish room or the medley of different radios in the kitchens. Never have i seen anyone complain about the music, in fact I have caught many people dancing to it.
But now we work in utter silence.
Why? Because of the Dragon Jamie. She went on maternity leave and kept reappearing every few days as surprise attacks to make sure we weren't going too crazy with the sour cream. Instead of asking us to turn the radios down to a reasonable decibel she banned all music and then disappeared for good.
On another note her son, Demetri, was due on Friday the thirteenth. Poor child can't help that he's the spawn of the devilwoman.
It is because the management stole hour music. Most people who eat at Carrillo understand that we are not DLG, Carrillo employees do not like the silence. The music that's always blaring from the dish room or the medley of different radios in the kitchens. Never have i seen anyone complain about the music, in fact I have caught many people dancing to it.
But now we work in utter silence.
Why? Because of the Dragon Jamie. She went on maternity leave and kept reappearing every few days as surprise attacks to make sure we weren't going too crazy with the sour cream. Instead of asking us to turn the radios down to a reasonable decibel she banned all music and then disappeared for good.
On another note her son, Demetri, was due on Friday the thirteenth. Poor child can't help that he's the spawn of the devilwoman.
The Cheese Tried to Murder Me
I work seventeen hours a week. Seven and a half of those hours are spent in one shift cutting fruits and vegetables. If I'm lucky the chef in charge, Andy, will let me take an extra five minutes during one of my two fifteen minute breaks. After work I go to class with my hands a mixture of pink from the cold and orange from the carrots. It's a delight, really it is.
It was after a day like this in which my brain decided it would be fun to impale myself. of course I couldn't cut myself at work where I would receive worker's comp. No. I went home and stabbed myself while literally cutting the cheese.
For the split second the knife entered my hand I had an out of body experience. My brain stared at the knife in my hand and said, "Oh wow. I've never cut myself with a knife before." A split second later I had dropped the knife, jumped up clutching my hand, and ran across the hall to the bathroom followed by a string of obscenities and a call for Brenda to grab a bandaid. After all it was a small cut. No need to worry, just slap a handy dandy bandaid on it.
Wrong.
I stuck my hand under the cold water and the water turned pink in the sink. The bleeding stopped and I pressed gauze to it using, for the first time, my first aid training. The bleeding stopped and I put the bandaid on the little puncture wound.
By then I had made up my mind. I was not going to the ceremony at the sorority house. No, I was going to go eat dinner. I stood waiting for Brenda and Cindy (my arm draped over my head so the cut was over my heart to slow the bleeding) when I noticed red. I looked up to find blood cascading down. So I dashed back to the bathroom now panicking that my hand would not stop bleeding.
Brenda stood in the bathroom trying to help me but unable to do anything but laugh hysterically. Cindy went in search of the RA as student health closed at 4:30 and no one knew what to do after hours.
We called the front desk and they said they had first aid. I assumed this also meant that they had someone who would know how to help. Wishful thinking. When we arrived at De Anza my two least favorite desk attendants sat staring at me. When I told them of my injuty the blonde one stood up and went to a standard metal first aid kit and handed me a roll of gauze and some paper tape.
Me: "I'm allergic to tape."
DA: "...to tape..."
Me: "Yeah."
DA: "..."
Me: "Besides I'm first aid and CPR certified so I know that---"
DA: "Wait, are you having trouble breathing?"
Me: "No..."
DA: "But you mentioned CPR."
Me: "....."
I stormed out of De Anza dramatically.
Eventually though we called dispatch and Cindy told the poor woman that her roommate "had cut herself". They sent a police officer over to ensure that I hadn't been in a knife fight with my block of cheese, since it was a hand injury and soon the ambulance arrived. The paramedic literally couldn't have cared less about my and was more worried I would die from tetanus. Sure I understand if I'd been cutting my cheese with a knife made of rusty barbed wire, but I wasn't.
The ER visit took three hours and involved a lot of waiting, an x-ray, an old nurse who never spoke above a whisper, a tetanus shot, and a close encounter with stitches. Thank you Alyssa, you are the best big ever.
The next day I went into work to hand in my doctor's note which excused me from work for the week. Of course Hyacinth wasn't there it was Jamie, the nine month pregnant dargon lady.
Me: "Hi. Yesterday I cut myself---"
Jamie: "Oh God! Not here I hope!"
Me: "....No...at home."
Jamie: "Good!"
Me: "Yeah... well here's my note."
Jamie: "You'll have to find your own subs. Of course you are excused but it's easier for me if you find your own."
Me: "Riiight..."
And did I find my own subs? No.
It was after a day like this in which my brain decided it would be fun to impale myself. of course I couldn't cut myself at work where I would receive worker's comp. No. I went home and stabbed myself while literally cutting the cheese.
For the split second the knife entered my hand I had an out of body experience. My brain stared at the knife in my hand and said, "Oh wow. I've never cut myself with a knife before." A split second later I had dropped the knife, jumped up clutching my hand, and ran across the hall to the bathroom followed by a string of obscenities and a call for Brenda to grab a bandaid. After all it was a small cut. No need to worry, just slap a handy dandy bandaid on it.
Wrong.
I stuck my hand under the cold water and the water turned pink in the sink. The bleeding stopped and I pressed gauze to it using, for the first time, my first aid training. The bleeding stopped and I put the bandaid on the little puncture wound.
By then I had made up my mind. I was not going to the ceremony at the sorority house. No, I was going to go eat dinner. I stood waiting for Brenda and Cindy (my arm draped over my head so the cut was over my heart to slow the bleeding) when I noticed red. I looked up to find blood cascading down. So I dashed back to the bathroom now panicking that my hand would not stop bleeding.
Brenda stood in the bathroom trying to help me but unable to do anything but laugh hysterically. Cindy went in search of the RA as student health closed at 4:30 and no one knew what to do after hours.
We called the front desk and they said they had first aid. I assumed this also meant that they had someone who would know how to help. Wishful thinking. When we arrived at De Anza my two least favorite desk attendants sat staring at me. When I told them of my injuty the blonde one stood up and went to a standard metal first aid kit and handed me a roll of gauze and some paper tape.
Me: "I'm allergic to tape."
DA: "...to tape..."
Me: "Yeah."
DA: "..."
Me: "Besides I'm first aid and CPR certified so I know that---"
DA: "Wait, are you having trouble breathing?"
Me: "No..."
DA: "But you mentioned CPR."
Me: "....."
I stormed out of De Anza dramatically.
Eventually though we called dispatch and Cindy told the poor woman that her roommate "had cut herself". They sent a police officer over to ensure that I hadn't been in a knife fight with my block of cheese, since it was a hand injury and soon the ambulance arrived. The paramedic literally couldn't have cared less about my and was more worried I would die from tetanus. Sure I understand if I'd been cutting my cheese with a knife made of rusty barbed wire, but I wasn't.
The ER visit took three hours and involved a lot of waiting, an x-ray, an old nurse who never spoke above a whisper, a tetanus shot, and a close encounter with stitches. Thank you Alyssa, you are the best big ever.
The next day I went into work to hand in my doctor's note which excused me from work for the week. Of course Hyacinth wasn't there it was Jamie, the nine month pregnant dargon lady.
Me: "Hi. Yesterday I cut myself---"
Jamie: "Oh God! Not here I hope!"
Me: "....No...at home."
Jamie: "Good!"
Me: "Yeah... well here's my note."
Jamie: "You'll have to find your own subs. Of course you are excused but it's easier for me if you find your own."
Me: "Riiight..."
And did I find my own subs? No.
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