SB is Infested with Demons! Oh my!

Today(09/20/09) I ventured into Isla Vista, a small college town on the north (I think) side of UCSB. My parents were with me, as they had promised both a meal and a new bike. Plus, after this I wouldn't see them for a while.

But I digress. We decided to eat at a dirty but promising little place across from Embarcadero Hall. While we were looking at the menu (one of those hanging ones that a short person has to practically break their neck to see) the man in front of us recommended the club sandwich. The club sandwich with avocado and all sorts of yummies. It sounded delicious (my mum ordered it). My mother and I thought this man was giving his recommendation because he worked there, or he was a regular and just overly friendly. Turns out he was a regular but also a bit irregular.

My parents and I decided to sit outside, as it was a nice day and and a great place to people watch. We sat three tables away from the Club Sandwich Man and were thoroughly entertained. The Club Sandwich Man's (now CSM because I'm too lazy to write it out) friend came along. Charlie was an old homeless hippie and the two struck up a delightful conversation.

First Charlie bashed Republicans mercilessly, and boy oh boy does he hate the government. This topic led to CSM's diatribe about the cliffs of Santa Barbara. CMS said, "Every month we have some kid die because he's drunk." Okay, not every month but yes Santa Barbarans do seem to like to mix drinking and cliffs. Let me tell you something. Intoxication + cliffs = bad. Easy fix? Stay away. There's plenty of parties despite not being a party school.

CMS continued, "They're at the cliffs drinking in the dark." Stupid people. "Then someone has to take a leak. He can't see the edge of the cligg at night and BAM!" I'm sorry but I'm sure all those accidents are not from needing to pee. Perhaps someone just gave them a gentle nudge. "The school should put solar powered string fences up to keep their students safe." Solar powered string? Huh. "But they don't care about their students." This statement started another rant about the quality of the school.

Just as I thought the remainder of lunch would be boring, CSM began talking about killing someone. "If those laws weren't protecting him I'd take care of him myself." And this my friends led to the best conversation I've heard in a long time. The conversation was about demons.

CSM: "They're everywhere! Yesterday I was in that parking lost and saw one run into that there building! Right through the walls! I caught it on tape! One time I say three school buses full of children, no adults but the bus driver. Demons were latched on the bus swearing! And jumping from car to car. Two dumb girls were walking and one ran right by them. ZOOM! They didn't even see them because they were invisible."

Charlie: "Karma man. It's all because of karma. And the school is built on Indian burial grounds. I got a book all about it."

CSM: "No Charlie, you just aren't listening to me! They yell profanities and no one hears them! They're invisible!"

So demons are real? The Winchester brothers should come to IV and perform an exorcism. And why can't anyone else see these profanity slewing black creatures? Is he sure he's not seeing the people of our generation who seem to think that black is a good color regardless of season and think that a certain word is an adjective, noun, verb, adverb, and expletive all rolled into one?

I don't know perhaps the world is going to hell in a hand basket, but if it is I want to see thses demons before the world is overrun with them. Also, yes Mr. CSM is not all there he twitched and seemed to have some form of turrets syndrome. I am not mocking him so don't get defensive or offended. I am merely telling a story and commenting.